I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
