Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
