i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
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I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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