Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.