So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
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Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
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He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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