3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.