You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
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No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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