just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize