wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
