when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
