didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Text me some of your sweat
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
