all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
