Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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