i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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