No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
