I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
