I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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