Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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