the condom got lost in my hair
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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