worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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