Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I think my moral compass just broke
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize