my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
