My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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