This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize