i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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