If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
