So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
