Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
