where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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