i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
