spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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