I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
