my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize