im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
