he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm too high and old for this...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
