grandma shit on top of the toilet
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
This is classic penis vs brain.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
