She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
