so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
