my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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