She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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