i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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