She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
