Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
