i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
