im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
