Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
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