i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
