I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize