You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I currently don't understand fingers.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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