She said her name was "party"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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