He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
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I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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