these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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