I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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