worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
