do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
