Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Randomize
