I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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