she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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