Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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