During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
