She announced her abortion via fbk
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
