I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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