We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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