I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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