Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
