her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You may now shotgun with the bride
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
