So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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