eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
