He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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