We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
