so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize