i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
