I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
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He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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