And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
