Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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