Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
